It’s a question that every hardcore motorcycle aficionado has asked themselves at one time or another: what TV lawyer do I wish were a biker? After all, there are lots of advantages to having an attorney for a ride buddy. Like if you’re involved in a personal injury or property damage accident for instance. Say you’re distracted by some beautiful ladies at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally and accidentally side swipe a line of bikes, ricochet off through the campfire throwing red-hot embers on everybody within 20 feet and end up on top of the biggest dude within three miles. Not sure how much help a lawyer will be in the immediate aftermath, but in the long run you’re gonna need him for sure. And TV lawyers are the best of their profession, they always win their cases. So let’s take a look at some fictional lawyers we’d love to see on a Harley.
The Godfather of television attorneys and the man who single-handedly inspired a whole generation of youngsters to dream of a career in the legal profession. At first appraisal his taciturn, coldly analytical and logical personality doesn’t seem to hold out much promise of being a fun guy to have around on a ride. But by the end of the show he would always chill out and have a few laughs with his associates. This show can still be found on any cable or directstartv.org bundles. And admit it, you’ve always wondered what Raymond Burr would look like in leather.
One of Andy Griffith’s most beloved characters, his modest “aw shucks” persona concealed an exceptionally sly and cunning mind, always catching the bad guys off guard and foiling their arrogant plots. Riding attire would undoubtedly be plaid shirt, Dickies work pants and old worn-out work boots. Bike of choice: vintage Harley or Indian, possibly with a side car for Don Knotts, who did make guest appearances on the show. You never know when that bullet might come in handy.
Kate Reed from Fairly Legal
Aside from her obvious visual attributes, she’s wealthy— so wealthy that she quits her job as a litigator to be a mediator, which better appeals to her sense of social justice. “Can’t we all just get along?” could be her motto, and this could come in handy if you happen to wander into the wrong bar and find yourself in a tight spot. While she’s talking nice to the aggrieved parties you can make a discreet tactical retreat. Her ride? An EBR 1190 RS or a Ducati Panigale.
Any Attorney From Law & Order
Because sometimes you really need a motorcycle riding partner that’s devious, sly, backstabbing, amoral, double-talking and willing to take (or give) a bribe. And because of how ridiculous they’d look on a Vespa Lambretta in Brooks Brothers at Daytona Bike Week.
Denny Crane from Boston Legal
Come on, this guy is just cool. He’s charming, well-connected, likes good cigars and fine scotch and can appreciate a good-looking babe. Let’s face it, William Shatner WOULD look good in leather. Maybe a Harley, but I’m thinking a tricked out Honda Goldwing.
Your mileage may vary, but I think these accomplished tv attorneys would be at the top of anyone’s list of TV lawyers they’d like to see as bikers. Who would be on your list? And who’s going to be the first to start a new tv show, “Lawyers in Leather”? Just a thought.
Our favorite attorney is our own Russ Brown, the original motorcycle lawyer. Russ Brown still hits the road on two wheels and fights for riders on the road and in the courtroom.